It felt like there was no colour in my world. I felt like there was no life. It was just dead and it was empty, and that was my reality for so long.
When I was fourteen, my parents broke up. I’d got home late one night. I’d snuck in and my dad just started hitting me. I didn’t know what to do with that, really. I remember waking up the next day and he was gone. I never saw him for about nine years after that.
I had started taking drugs. I’d started getting into marijuana and just hanging out with, I suppose what you’d say, the wrong crowd. I had a good friend who was prospecting for a gang in Invercargill. It was a white supremacist gang. And so I soon discovered other drugs. I got into LSD at fourteen. I guess I found a family. I was looking for acceptance, looking for love.